Pool Skimmer

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When training, astronauts must perform their tasks underwater. I was hired as the guy to clean out the pool at the end of the day. And after my shift, my shift I'd go to TGIF's to make happy hour. Grant behind the bar would call me the "space man." I'd laugh for sure at that. But those guys in those white suits were amazing though. No bigger chasm than me with a pool skimmer and a cosmonaut. To be that close to genius, it used to bog me down. One night so much that I jumped into the pool and began fucking with the fake space station. The security cameras caught me. When watching the tape, the guys yelled "keep swimmin fella!"


from Competitive Eater Songs, released July 9, 2013



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Dream Journal Buffalo, New York


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