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Well everyone's been talking about you and your old man. Apparently he got drunk and pissed on all the plants in front of the old post office. Well I'm down here at the bar and with the whole crew, and they've been asking about you. Your mom told me you haven't been getting out much and just siting by the pool. Well if it's any consolation, those plants were already dead


from Competitive Eater Songs, released July 9, 2013



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